How Bullying Affects Mental Health and What Helps

Bullying affects mental health by raising the risk of depression, anxiety and sleep problems, and by making school feel unsafe. Children and teens who are bullied may withdraw, lose friends, fall behind in class or complain of stomachaches. Knowing how bullying affects mental health helps adults spot changes early, respond calmly and get the right support.

This article is for parents, caregivers, teachers and other adults in Texas who are worried about a child or teen, and for adults who still feel the effects of being bullied when they were young. It covers warning signs, a step-by-step response, what to say and when to get help sooner.

How does bullying affect mental health?

Bullying can harm mental health by creating ongoing fear, shame and isolation. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) states that bullying increases the risk for depression, anxiety and sleep difficulties, and is linked to lower academic achievement and dropping out of school.

The effects are not only emotional. A child may have headaches, stomachaches or trouble sleeping before school days. Some start avoiding the bus, lunch or recess. Others become irritable or angry at home, where they feel safe enough to let it out.

CDC also notes that bullying can lead to self-harm and, in severe cases, death. That is why repeated bullying should always be taken seriously, even when a child says it is "no big deal."

What counts as bullying?

Bullying is unwanted aggressive behavior by another young person or group that involves a real or perceived power imbalance and is repeated or likely to be repeated. That is how the CDC defines bullying. It is different from a single argument between equals.

CDC describes several forms:

• Physical: hitting, kicking or tripping.
• Verbal: name-calling and teasing.
• Relational or social: spreading rumors or leaving someone out on purpose.
• Damage to property: breaking or taking belongings.
• Electronic: cyberbullying through texts, social media, games or other technology.

Cyberbullying can follow a child home and continue at night, which can make it feel impossible to escape. Screenshots and dates are useful if you need to report it. Many apps and games have blocking and reporting tools, and it helps to learn them together with your child.

What are signs a child is being bullied?

Signs a child is being bullied usually show up as changes in mood, behavior, health or school performance. StopBullying.gov, a federal website managed by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, advises adults to look for changes in the child, such as unexplained injuries, declining grades and sudden loss of friends.

Other changes to watch for include:

• Lost or damaged clothing, books, devices or other belongings.
• Frequent headaches or stomachaches, or faking illness to stay home.
• Changes in eating, or coming home very hungry.
• Trouble sleeping or frequent nightmares.
• Not wanting to go to school or certain activities.
• Feeling helpless, or lower self-esteem.

Some of these overlap with anxiety, depression or school avoidance from other causes. Our guide for when a teen refuses school may help you sort it out.

Why don't kids tell adults about bullying?

Kids often stay quiet because they fear making things worse, being seen as weak or losing friends. StopBullying.gov explains that kids may fear being rejected by their peers and lists other reasons, including fear of retaliation, embarrassment, fear of being judged and feeling that no one would understand.

Some children believe adults will not take them seriously or will overreact, and silence is part of how bullying affects mental health over time, because the child carries it alone. Others do not realize what is happening counts as bullying, especially online or in friend groups, where teasing can be passed off as a joke. A calm, steady response the first time a child opens up makes it more likely they will tell you again.

What are signs a child may be bullying others?

A child may be bullying others if they get into frequent fights, become more aggressive over time or blame others for their problems. StopBullying.gov lists signs such as being highly competitive and worried about reputation or popularity, spending time with peers who bully, frequent trips to the principal's office and unexplained money or new belongings.

Children who bully also need adult attention. Their behavior can sometimes reflect stress, problems at home or difficulty managing emotions. A calm conversation about what is going on, clear expectations and, if needed, a health care provider's input can help. Understanding how bullying affects mental health includes noticing the child doing the bullying, not only the child being targeted.

How can parents respond, step by step?

Parents can respond by listening first, keeping the child safe, documenting what happened and working with the school. These steps can help:

1. Listen without blame. Thank your child for telling you. Avoid asking what they did to cause it.
2. Get the facts. Ask who, what, where and when. Save messages and screenshots.
3. Check on safety. Ask directly if anyone has hurt them or threatened them.
4. Contact the school. Ask for a meeting with a teacher, counselor or administrator, and request the school's bullying policy.
5. Agree on a plan. Ask what the school will do, who your child can go to and when you will follow up.
6. Support friendships and confidence. Activities your child enjoys can rebuild a sense of belonging.
7. Watch mood and sleep. If changes last weeks or keep getting worse, talk with a health care provider.

The CDC encourages adults to check in with kids often and listen to them, and to help kids understand bullying and how to stand up to it safely.

What can you say to a child who is being bullied?

You can say short, calm sentences that show you believe them and are on their side. These are examples to adapt for your child's age:

• "Thank you for telling me. This is not your fault."
• "You do not have to handle this alone. We will figure it out together."
• "Can you tell me what happened, in your own words?"
• "Who at school do you feel safe going to?"
• "I am going to talk with the school, and I will tell you what I say first."

Checklist for a school meeting

• Dates, places and names involved.
• Copies of messages or photos.
• Any changes you have noticed in mood, sleep or grades.
• What you want the school to do.
• A follow-up date.

What if you were bullied as a child?

If you were bullied as a child, it is understandable if you still feel some effects, such as self-doubt, social worry or strong reactions to criticism. Past experiences can shape how people see themselves and others, and those patterns can change with support.

Lyte Psychiatry offers therapy, psychiatric evaluation and medication management in Texas, and therapy can be a place to work through old experiences. You do not need to have a diagnosis to talk with someone. If social worry is a big part of it, our article on coping with social anxiety may help.

When should you get help sooner?

Get help right away if a child or teen talks about suicide or self-harm, seems hopeless, or is in physical danger. The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) lists warning signs of suicide, including talking about wanting to die, feeling like a burden and withdrawing from others.

Also seek prompt care if a child stops eating or sleeping, refuses school for days, has changes that last weeks, or seems very different from their usual self. NIMH advises families to seek help when behaviors last weeks or longer and cause distress. In an emergency, call or text 988, or call 911.

What should Texas families know about bullying?

Texas families should know that school districts have bullying policies and reporting steps, and that rules about bullying and cyberbullying vary by state. Ask your child's school for its written policy and how reports are handled.

For urgent mental health concerns, Texas Health and Human Services lists 24/7 crisis lines run by local mental health authorities in every county. A pediatrician or school counselor can also be a first stop. For background on the school year, see the psychological effects of bullying.

Getting support in Texas

In-person visits are available at Lyte Psychiatry's clinic in Pantego, in the Dallas–Fort Worth area. Lyte Psychiatry offers telehealth visits to patients who are physically located in Texas at the time of the visit.

Most new patients are seen within 1–2 business days. Weekend appointments are limited. All Lyte Psychiatry services are available in Spanish. Lyte Psychiatry's age range for children and teens requires confirmation, as do availability, insurance and clinician fit.

Lyte Psychiatry is an outpatient practice. It does not provide inpatient care, crisis or after-hours coverage, medically supervised detox, or intensive outpatient or partial hospitalization programs.

Learn about therapy or contact the practice to ask about fit.

If you are in a mental-health crisis in the United States, call or text 988. Call 911 for immediate danger.

Educational information, not a diagnosis or individual treatment plan.